Demeter's Cooking Column
by SetHadesThorn13
Summary: All is well on Olympus. Then Demeter gets an idea. Welcome to the world of Demeter's Cooking Column. The Olympians aren't using it too badly, well except for Anwar and Aaliyah, the two new Olympians who are complete rivals. A cooking contest is sure to solve everything. Right... Disclaimer: I don't own Percy Jackson and The Olympians


**Chapter 1 **

**Third Person POV**

Everything was normal on Olympus. The two new Olympians had finally settled down. Aaliyah was slumped in her ice throne, checking her email on her iPod, and listening to music. Anwar was in his throne also on his iPod, giggling as he listened to a French song. A polar bear slept by Aaliyah's feet, and a panda by Anwar's.

Everyone else was busy with their normal activities. Well, mostly everyone. Poseidon had recently added wheels to his throne. Now Hephaestus was trying to fix Poseidon and Athena's thrones while they blamed each other. Just then Apollo stood up.

"I feel a haiku coming on," he announced. Several of the Olympians covered their ears.

"Demeter is gone

And no one knows where she went.

I guess no one cares."

"Hermes go get Demeter," Zeus ordered when Apollo had finished. Hermes sped away. Demeter was sitting in one of the gardens outside Olympus. She looked up when she saw Hermes. Her eyes were shining. She handed Hermes the pad of paper she had been writing on. He stared at it without understanding.

"What is this?" he finally asked.

"Demeter's Cooking Column. It's for all of the Olympians. They can watch it on TV. Plus, I figured out how to make it so the gods can comment. On TV! The best part is, they each get to have their own specialty!"

"Sounds cool," Hermes said, much less enthusiastically than Demeter. "Why don't you tell everyone?" Demeter followed Hermes back to Olympus. Hermes sat down in his throne.

"I have an announcement," Demeter yelled. The gods covered their ears. She continued on more quietly. "Demeter's Cooking Column. It's for all of the Olympians. They can watch it on TV. Plus, I figured out how to make it so the gods can comment. On TV! The best part is, they each get to have their own specialty! Like, one person's could be chicken and another person's thyme."

"Time?" Apollo asked.

"Thyme, the herb," Demeter clarified.

"Could someone's be wine?" Dionysus asked.

"As a seasoning, Dionysus," Demeter replied.

"Who's Dionysus?" Dionysus asked.

"You," Demeter said flatly.

"No, I'm Daniel," said Dionysus. Demeter smacked her forehead. Anwar was jumping on his throne, trying to get Demeter to notice him.

"Yes Anwar?" she asked.

"Could someone's specialty be fire?" he lit his hand on fire to demonstrate.

"Yes," Demeter answered. Anwar jumped in the air and then hit his head on his throne. The Olympians burst out laughing.

"That hurt," Anwar complained.

"It's your own fault," Aaliyah retorted. Just then, Aaliyah's polar bar bit Anwar's ankle. Anwar screamed and fell on his face. The polar bear didn't let go. All of the Olympians started laughing hysterically. No one noticed that Aaliyah had slipped away. She returned to her throne as the laughter died down. Anwar climbed back into his throne.

Aaliyah pressed something on her iPod. Suddenly an awful screeching filled the room.

"What is that?" asked Zeus.

"Anwar singing _Let It Go_ from _Frozen_," Aaliyah replied smugly. The Olympians fell on the floor laughing. Who knew what would happen when they got their hands on a cooking show. No one seemed to care. They were too busy laughing.

Apollo got up and pretended to strum a guitar. This set the Olympians off again. Apollo fainted from the awful music. He fell into Artemis and they both collapsed into the half-mended thrones.

"Idiot!" Artemis yelled. Then she got an evil grin on her face. The singing had finally stopped. Artemis grabbed a sharpie and uncapped it. She drew a mustache and beard on Apollo's face. After a moment's hesitation she scribbled in Apollo's hair too. Then Apollo woke up. Artemis shoved the sharpie in her pocket.

Hera handed Apollo a mirror. He looked at himself and gasped. The Olympians burst out laughing again. Some of them were crying now.

"You- you can just change your appearance," Aaliyah pointed out through laughter. He flicked his hands and the marker disappeared. This sent the Olympians into another fit of hysterics. Apollo had made his hair disappear too. Demeter and Hephaestus were laughing so hard they smacked into each other and toppled over. Finally everyone settled down and climbed back into their thrones. Poseidon and Athena stood where their thrones were supposed to be.

"Well, does everyone agree to make Demeter's Cooking Column official?" Zeus bellowed. There were nods around the room.

"It's official," Zeus declared. Everyone started to leave the throne room.

"HONK, SHOES, HONK, SHOES HONK, SHOES," Dionysus was pretending to snore. Apollo giggled. Everyone else continued to walk to the door.

"DUCKS LIKE RAIN!

ARTEMIS HATES DUCKS!

I'LL EAT PIES INSTEAD OF DUCKS!" sang Apollo in his horrid singing voice.

"I do not hate ducks!" Artemis screamed. Hestia sighed as the Olympians began to laugh hysterically… All over again.


End file.
